Bereavement
Preparing for death
If you or someone close to you is terminally ill or dying you can feel very alone. It is a time when you might like someone to share with you your grief, your fears and your concerns. If you live in Wheatley or nearby, you can call us for spiritual support for yourself and for your loved one, whether or not you are a member of this church.
One of our elders can come and visit you, pray with you and, if you wish, can arrange for a minister to celebrate the Lord’s Supper with you and the dying person at home. A simple service of anointing with oil can help you on this last journey to let go and to let God be with you in these last steps of the journey of life.
If you or the one you care for wishes this to happen please contact us and we will arrange for a minister to come to your house.
When death is there
Be calm. There is no reason to rush.
Don’t be afraid to touch the dead body, to sit with him or her in silence or with quiet music. You might like to light a candle, or say a prayer – maybe The Lord’s Prayer or Aaron’s Blessing.
Soon you will feel ready to call the doctor who will certify the death; to call the undertaker, who will take care of a lot of things that now need to be done. If you like, a little service of Thanksgiving and Farewell can be held in your house before the body is taken away. (Let us know if you would like this to happen and we will arange for the minister).
A minister can visit you to talk about the funeral or memorial service. You may wish to choose hymns; a passage from scripture; a special poem or music or contribute in another way to the service. Any personal issues that might come to the surface will be dealt with in absolute confidence.
After a death
Grief is a very strong feeling and has the power to disturb our life profoundly. Its intensity may depend on the intensity of your relationship to the deceased but there are other factors too. This death might trigger memories of other losses that we had to suffer at some other time in our life and bring back feelings from there and then. For some, grief may be delayed for months or even years, and perhaps some may be overtaken by relief at an end to suffering.
Grief can have very different faces and they can change and vary, sometimes from one minute to the other. Sadness, anger, disorientation, desperation, disbelief or an overall feeling of numbness can all be part of it. Whatever you feel like doing now, do it: screaming, running, crying, laughing, talking with friends or keeping silent. Our ministers and our congregation will be there to support you in prayer or in visits, if you wish.